Title: The Bakkian Chronicles II: Insurrection
Author: Jeffery M. Poole
Publisher: Create Space (paperback) or J. M. Poole (ebook)
ISBN: 978-1466388819 (paperback) or ASINL: B005QUVGTS (ebook)
Once again Poole takes through the looking glass on an Alice in Wonderland-esque adventure. The story picks up one year after the Bakkian Chronicles: The Prophecy. Steve and Sarah learn of trouble in magical realm, and rush off to help. They learn that people are have kidnapped the queen leading two nations towards war. Seeking to find out why, they learn more about their powers and why they are exceptional. In the end they learn that they are tools of prophecy to a degree even more so than they imagined. And clues to the true threat are revealed.
The story is fast-paced and frolicksome. Again, it is a fun, interesting story, that shows a lot of promise.There are fewer editing problems than the first, but some new ones cropped up. However, if the problems were resolved the story would move well past promise towards excellence. I do recommend this novel, but with the stipulation that the reader be warned that it is currently less than perfect.
That said, what follows are some of the problems (from most important to nit-picky) I noticed:
The primary problem is word overuse - using a "Visible" word numerous time in a relatively small space, "invisible" words ("said" for example) are exempt from this - namely where the author stated something happened "instantly" or someone did something "while simultaneously" doing something else. Most of the time the overused words can simply be omitted without sacrificing the feel of the sentence.
Late tags or no tags: as the story is written in Third Person Semi-Omnisceient Unlimited the point of view can change from sentence to sentence, but often the new character's point of view is not identified beyond a "he/she" until the point of view is ready to change. Also at times, when multiple characters are speaking, lines of dialogue are left untagged leaving the reader to guess who is speaking.
Deus Ex Machina: The feel of the quest to retrieve the diary towards the end feels contrived solely to answer questions that the author had to answer and used the characters to ask, and the reader wanted to know.
Once again, the professional guards and soldiers are at a loss as to how to behave in military and security matters, deferring those who merely have new magical powers and no military training.
And finally, every time there is to be a fight or danger Steve fights with Sarah about her getting away from danger. Every time. Even when the the guard is on the other side of the door jiggling the handle about to come in and discover them, they have this fight.
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