I Choose to Believe or Faith is a Matter of Choice

Central to my and many others belief systems is the idea that we have free agency. Free agency means that while we may be influenced one way or the other we are free to choose our path. Most often people refer to this in context of visible life choices: what to wear, where to go, what to do. And this is true, they are choices we can make. Within our domains, we are surrounded by choices daily. The vast majority are insignificant: apple or orange, this or that. Some are more profound: take the job or refuse, say yes or no. Then comes the conundrums: moral or not, right or wrong.

Still these are the obvious choices. These are the ones we think about; the ones that consume our lives. But there are other choices to be made, the invisible ones. I say they are invisible because we really don't think about them as a choice. Most often we think they just are. It could be we are naturally inclined to make some choices and so act on them. Sometimes the choices we make are justified by existence, other times not.

Take, for example, the Speed of Light. Science tells us that it is about 300,000 kilometers per second. It's a fact. There is seemingly no disputing this. So we believe it. For one microsecond, one split moment of infinity, we had to choose whether we believed it or not. We chose to believe it because people we respect tell us it is so, the math shows it, we can observe it; in short evidence abounds.

But what if I told you that the Speed of Light is in flux and not constant? What if I showed you that it was infinitely faster the closer we were to the Big Bang or Big Crunch? What if I said that the closer light was to a Super Dense Cosmic String the faster it would be? Would you reconsider your choice? Probably not. You chose. You chose what you observed and those you trusted.

Another example and one dearer to many people is that of religious belief. I speak not only of which religion we follow, but of the very idea of an external system or force directing the universe. At some point we choose to look at the universe and see a guiding hand or a series of coincidences governed by a few physical laws. That choice will support the following choices. If we choose the coincidence, your choices become more worldly. If we choose the guiding hand, we must choose if we will follow it or not. We must choose where we think it is. We must choose how we think it should be followed. We must choose. And keep choosing. In either we will see evidences to support our thoughts, we will have choices to support our choices.

A famous quote from the Book of Joshua talks a little about this choice:

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

The Jews had an actual choice. They could choose to follow other gods. They would not be forced to follow the God of Abraham. Joshua recognized this and chose.

Psychology tells us that we can learn to trust by choosing to trust. We can choose to share, to confide, to open ourselves up to others. It also says that we can learn to love and increase the love we feel by choosing to love. The same is true for faith. We can choose to trust God. Choose to love Him. Choose to follow and love Him. This choice will be shored up by the evidences we then see and the following choices we make.

I myself made this choice. I chose to believe in the Judeo-Christian God. I chose to trust Him. I chose to believe what I learned of Him and follow those teachings. As such I have seen evidences in my life. These support my choice, and help me to continue to choose as I have. I believe it is our choice as to what we believe, as to how we act, and how we live. As such I hope we all choose wisely.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

A good many don't know this, but Christmas is my favorite holiday. I sing carols all year long. Most of the music I own is Christmas music. I think of what I can make to give and to whom through-out the year. And when the tree is finally, socially, allowed to be put up, I will sit in a darkened room, in the quiet solitude and and watch it.

The lights blur and twinkle. The ornaments shine. And a calm joy fills me.

I remember Christmases past and the events, foods, and gifts fade. The Spirit of it remains. I remember the joy, the friends and family, the connection. I remember being loved.

In December, Christianity celebrates the Month of Christ: Christmas. In it they make a show of loving, of caring, of whitewashing their souls in the Season.

And for me, even with all the frustrations, aggravations and problems associated with the holidays, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So, please, allow me to wish you a Merry Christmas. May the joy and light of the Season see you through the coming year. Bless you all.

I Still Wait For Santa

My dear friends, I am no longer a youth wide-eyed and letter writing. The magic has faded as I know the magician. No longer does Santa come to visit me at my house. No longer do I waited with baited breath, straining to hear the tale-tale sounds of Santa Claus visiting. No mysterious presents appear beneath my tree.

I have known the meanings of the symbols and trappings of the season since childhood. I learned the customs of several cultures. And I don't think the trappings, symbols or myths detract one bit from the purpose of the season. They add to it and give it flavor.

And knowing Santa as I do, I still wait for him. I feel the hope within my chest as Christmas approaches that this year he'll come again. This year the magic will return and I'll wake to the joys of Christmas morn as I once did in childhood.

You might say that this is but wishful thinking, or stupidity upon my part. It might be. I choose to think of it as hope in things greater, things unexplained, in possibilities and dreams. I choose to hope for the magic of innocence and the beauty therein.

And so I will keep waiting for Santa. One day, he will come again. I hope he will find me ready and waiting.

Merry Christmas.

Scripture Study: Amalickiah's Corrupt Corporate Ladder

While I was reading the Book of Mormon I came upon the story of Amalickiah and his rise to power. Something tickled my fancy and I saw not just the story, but the steps the villain used. So I wrote them down.

Some context: the Book of Mormon is the scriptural history of the peoples of the Americas. Two groups, the Nephites and Lamanites, arrived together as one group, split and became enemies. The Nephites worshiped God and Christ. The Lamanites did not. At this point in their history (Alma 47) a man, one Amalickiah, sought to be established king over the Nephites. When he failed peacfully, he tried forcefully and was chased from the nation, along with his followers. They fled to the Lamanite nation, ingratiated themselves to the king, and became an army. Amalickiah by plot and treachery rose to command the armies, killed the king, married the queen, and declared war on the Nephites.

The method he used I call:

Amalikiah's Corrupt Corporate Ladder  (Alma 47)
1) Ingratiate yourself to the powerful. (verse 3)
2) Be a hypocrite, but don't get caught. (4)
3) Have a plan, don't give up on it. (11-12)
4) Don't be obvious, use subterfuge. Sometimes the result is better if you wait. (18)
5) Don't do your own dirty work; you might get caught. (18, 22-26)
6) Destroy all non-ally witnesses. (24-26)
7) Play the crowd at first and afterward they're yours. (27)
8) 'Blind virtue' (ie: loyalty, knee-jerk reactions) can be used to your advantage. (28-30)
9) Move quickly to consolidate your hold on power. (31-35)

I see this included as a type of warning. The wicked and corrupt will do anything at any price to get what they want.

Conversely, I thought that the list isn't far from what a moral person would need to do to get ahead either - although it would need to be untwisted. So I gave that a try, haven't put it to use though.

1) Network.
2) Be Honest, Straightforward and True.
3) Have a plan, don't give up on it.
4) Subtlety and Patience, not necessarily a bad thing.
5) If you wouldn't do it, don't order someone else to.
6) Delegate.
7) Convince the crowd.
8) Use but don't abuse 'blind virtues'.
9) Move quickly to consolidate power.

This second list could use some improvement. Thanks.

Weight Loss Laziness

Okay, so in no way, shape, or form can I be considered a fitness buff or health food junkie. I like my salts, fats, and sugars way too much. And I have for a while.

But the sad truth is I'm overweight. I suffer from Dunlap Disease; my stomach dun lapped over my belt! (Old joke I know.)  At about six foot, I should weigh at most 179 lbs. At least according to the mythical BMI Index. And as popular belief is that your waist should be half your height; I should be a 36 inch waist. (Waist size and pants size are different. Pants tend to be two inches smaller as manufacturers add inches to the stated size.)

Well, since I currently weigh in at 245 lbs with a waist size of 42 inches. So I need to loose lose about 70 lbs and 6 inches.

Why am I posting this tid-bit? Well, people who are held accountable tend to do better. I suppose this will be true even in a little viewed blog. So from time to time, I believe I'll use this to track my progress, or lack thereof, in the weight loss department.

So wish me luck!

Suppose

Once in a while I am beset by mood and craving to have someone unto whom I can spill the entirety of my thoughts unfettered by the fear of repercussion. But in my pondering I am hampered by the dire reality that few are the possibilities of such an exposition. Not even the anonymity of the internet is a grace to such a situation as it is not the real you that is shown, but an immortal amoral self forever flaunting itself into the minds of those who are unfortunate enough to encounter it.

Suppose that I were to write that when I drive, I visualize increasing the speed of the vehicle and ramming my moving death trap into the barrier of a brick wall, the dark cloudy depths of a creek, or the immobile embrace of a tree. Suppose I wrote that oft times when I am new a person I visualize kissing them or killing them. Suppose I wrote that when I were in the kitchen each knife brings to mind the image of blood on my wrists, up my arm. Suppose I wrote of the scenarios lovingly crafted in my mind of wrapping a belt round my throat then slowly giving into the strident prickly embrace of asphyxia.Or suppose I wrote of the curious longing that threatens when I see a gun and the sensory fear of placing it appropriately for use.

Suppose further that I wrote of the dark moods and ease of anger that sporadically besets me. Or of the lethargy that consumes, a moment at a time, the joys of life.

Suppose further that I confessed to having no goals or aspirations in life beyond that of being a father and husband. Or of the dreams that settle in my mind like a gauze of reality. Or of the nightmares that reek of normalcy among the exotic and frightful.

Suppose, just suppose, as by now many suppose I just have, that I wrote all this. Forever and always anyone encountering it would offer condolences or sympathies, perhaps offer expressions like "been there" or "I feel the same", but worst is that the image of me would be sullied; not just now, but whenever this was encountered. Or if the person proved untrustworthy, then these private confidences would find themselves broadcast beyond my control.

So you see my dilemma.